Holly Shannon

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The Science of Connection: Why We Need Each Other for Our Wellbeing

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Episode Notes

My show was created around the idea that we all crave connection. And that we use the coffee meetup as a tool to see each other. It’s about being together, not the caffeine hit. Humans are social creatures. We have an innate need for connection. Whether it's with family, friends, or strangers, we crave social interaction and companionship. Yes, I said strangers, because regardless of whether you are introverted or extroverted, the need for connection is in you. You are hard-wired for this. This need for connection has been studied extensively, and the results show just how important it is for our mental health and wellbeing. In this episode, we'll explore the innate need for connection in humans, and how studies on mental health and hospitality back this up.

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Transcript

My show was created around the idea that we all crave connection. And that we use the coffee meetup as a tool to see each other. It’s about being together, not the caffeine hit.

Humans are social creatures. We have an innate need for connection. Whether it's with family, friends, or strangers, we crave social interaction and companionship. Yes, I said strangers, because regardless of whether you are introverted or extroverted, the need for connection is in you. You are hard-wired for this. This need for connection has been studied extensively, and the results show just how important it is for our mental health and wellbeing. In this episode, we'll explore the innate need for connection in humans, and how studies on mental health and hospitality back this up.

Let’s start with the importance of connection:

Connection is a fundamental human need. We need it for our mental health and wellbeing, and to feel a sense of purpose and belonging in the world. Studies have shown that people who lack connection are more prone to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

In a study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, researchers found that people who lacked social connections had a 50% increased risk of premature death compared to those who had strong social ties. This shows just how important connection is for our physical health as well as our mental health.

Hospitality, or the act of welcoming and caring for others, plays an important role in meeting our need for connection. Hospitality can take many forms, from inviting someone over for dinner to simply smiling at a stranger on the street. The act of showing kindness and warmth to others can have a profound impact on our mental health and wellbeing. I think some of us love to throw a party, schedule a coffee meetup or open the door for someone at the store. In big or small ways you can elevate your mood through these acts. For those needing connection, making the effort can be difficult. 

In a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers found that acts of kindness and hospitality can increase feelings of social connection and decrease feelings of loneliness. This shows just how important it is to extend hospitality to others, even in small ways.

The Importance of Face-to-Face Interaction:

While technology has made it easier to connect with others, studies have shown that face-to-face interaction is still the most important form of connection. In a study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, researchers found that face-to-face social support was more effective at reducing stress than online social support.

Our phones keep us at a distance. If you have that friend or neighbor that always contacts or replies using a text, it’s probably a good sign to lean in and actually call or knock on their door or invite them for coffee.

Let’s discuss the importance of community:

Community is another important aspect of meeting our need for connection. A strong community provides a sense of belonging and purpose, and can help us weather life's challenges. In a study published in the Journal of Community Psychology, researchers found that people who were part of a strong community were less likely to experience mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

 I don’t want to stop there. Community is an overused word in social media. It’s used by branding experts and is hashtagged all day on Linkedin and Facebook. Let’s define it. It’s your church, your book club, your yoga group.  Mommy and me, events, vocational events (business clubs), community programs are everywhere and look the same! They are groups of people that do not want to do this thing called life alone and they just so happen to have a similar interest.

Find a group that resonates with any of your interests: books, music, spirituality, food, biking. Find the group and join. Even if it’s a little uncomfortable on the first day, it’ll immediately feel like home. And you won’t be the first one that felt a little awkward on arrival.  The leaders of these clubs know this, they won’t leave you hanging!

Conclusion:

The innate need for connection in humans is a fundamental aspect of our mental health and wellbeing. Studies on mental health and hospitality show just how important it is to connect with others, extend kindness and hospitality, and be part of a strong community. While technology has made it easier to connect with others, face-to-face interaction is still the most important form of connection. So the next time you're feeling down or lonely, reach out to a friend or loved one, extend hospitality to a stranger, or get involved in your community. You may be surprised at how much it can improve your mental health and wellbeing.

I’ll put links to all of these studies in the show notes, however, I’d like to point out that they are pre-pandemic. I believe our need for connection has gotten more intense and our mental health is more fragile. So call one friend today.  Check in.  Invite them for coffee.

What clubs have you joined where you found a sense of community? What do you do when you sense a friend could use some company? Do you need some connection? Has any of my ideas helped?

  1. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 58(1), 16-33.

  2. Alden, L. E., & Trew, J. L. (2013). If it makes you happy: Engaging in kind acts increases positive affect in socially anxious individuals. Emotion, 13(1), 64-75.

  3. Krause, N. (1997). Neighborhood deterioration and social isolation in later life. Journal of Community Psychology, 25(6), 461-474.

  4. Inagaki, T. K., & Eisenberger, N. I. (2016). Giving support to others reduces sympathetic nervous system-related responses to stress. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 35(6), 498-516.

The Importance of Connection: How Studies Show Why We Need Each Other

Mental Health and Hospitality: The Power of Connection

The Science of Connection: Why We Need Each Other for Our Wellbeing

This season is produced by pale blue studios